I have realized how easily influenced i can be, and how important it is to only listen to Jesus. Wanted to write about my time in a lordship salvation online cult.
i had no idea it was a cult until just recently The Lord told me it was. funny how the Lord allows us to be in deception for a time.
I came out of the churches in early 2018 and was filled with the Spirit.I had been praying for the real baptism of the Holy Spirit for 4 years. When the Lord filled me it came with so much understanding of truth. Immediately i knew i was born again, that the wrath of God had been satisfied and paid for on my account, i had the only baptism i needed, that churches and holidays were evil and pagan, and that Jesus is the God of Israel. Not 3 Gods. 1 God. In a matter of seconds I knew all of that stuff. overwhelming.
Immediately i looked on youtube to see if there were any others like me. I thought i was the only person in the world at that time who was filled with the real Holy Spirit. I came out of a church that straight up worshipped the antichrist and all of there manifestations were demonic. it was new age and a different Jesus. all i wanted to do was obey Jesus. so of course, I looked for people who were obeying Jesus and preached obedience to God and repentance ( i never heard that word in church).
i found a few channels and they were talking about the evil church system and being obedient to Jesus and i was so happy! i found Jesus true sheep!!!But i noticed there was a real harshness in the words they spoke. its like when i heard them speak things that were true, something inside me was saying “this sounds right but not quite”. always pointing fingers, a list of do’s and don’ts. no humility. at all. and the harshness in their words i didnt understand. i thought maybe it was “righteousness”.
they all sounded the same. preaching obedience to Jesus and to the words in red. that we must be pleasing to Jesus every day and that we must rid ourselves of sin, and water baptism. wait, what? even though i knew when I was filled with the Spirit i had the ONE baptism i needed, i continued to listen to these men. why? because they spoke SOME truth that i was familiar with about the church system and the Lord used that channel to confirm some things to me.
i started to follow their doctrine. i even had a vision of being water baptized, so i got water baptized again (for the 4th time). i started to realize after that this harshness again…. and that i was starting to sound like these men. I think of their followers like robots. they all just follow each other and i was no different. One of the men said that Jesus is a harsh taskmaster. so i started to look at Jesus in that way and be very scared of Him. I started hearing from a spirit that was a harsh judge and i thought it was Jesus. these men were what people call Lordship Salvation and they are BRUTAL. everything they say sounds right, especially after coming out of a church that was completely lawless. who would ever say that obeying Jesus was heresy? thats ALL i wanted to do.
i have come to realize that the spirit they are under is a spirit of fear and religion and those spirits are evil. these spirits try to turn our love for Jesus and our desire to obey Him into a religious work. as though we must work for our salvation and every mistake is fear of going to hell and losing our salvation. it is frightening. i started to tell Jesus that I dont want to be a robot like these people. i wanted to be my own person, to not sound like these people that follow the teachings of 1 or 2 men.
we dont even know what the words in red mean unless Jesus gives us understanding. we cant follow these words with our carnal mind because they are spiritually discerned.
i was in this online cult for over a year. i started to question why were they teaching water baptism when Jesus taught me that HE is my baptism? Why were they so harsh? why did they say things that sounded like truth but i could feel it was wrong and evil? Jesus recently told me it is a cult. and it is truly evil. He started to show me that when we follow the doctrine of others and submit to their teachings, that is a veil placed between us and Christ. during the time i was in this cult, the Lord was still teaching me many things, thats why i thought i was correct about this lordship salvation. He never left me.
a year ago, He put someone in my path that knew about grace. I rejected it IMMEDIATELY. I blocked this person and wanted nothing to do with her message that Christ did it all. why? because in the churches they told me Christ did it all and they were completely deceived. she was so gracious to me and so kind that even after i told her to leave me alone the Lord kept bringing her words back to my rememberance. for like 6 months i was thinking on her words and praying about it.
finally i got so exhausted living with all of this fear. i thought about when i was filled with the spirit, how i had peace with God. that anytime i was struggling with something it was Jesus who set me free and rescued me.
The Lord had me record a short testimony of how it was HE who has brought me thru everything and delivered me because I could not do it myself. a light bulb went off in my brain!!!! He told me that HE IS THE GOSPEL, when I have Christ I have everything i need. He gives me the strength and the desire to obey Him, that doesnt come from me. He gives me love for others and He is the source. It ALL comes from Him. Alone. He shares His Glory with no man. ever. FREEDOM!!!!!
He recently told me that we are joined forever. our spirit is one. why am i afraid to lose my salvation? has God ever failed me? even when i was in deception He is faithful to lead me out. He even leads me to pray to ask Him to show me if i am in deception. i remembered the girl who was so kind to me said “He is faithful to not lose one” and i realized how wrong i had been. The Lord put another person in my path to break down this message of grace in such a gentle way. that i could not take credit for anything. that even my obedience came from Christ in me manifesting. more light bulbs going off!! He explained how faith (Christ) covers me for everything including producing obedience in me. Its Christ who does the work in me. i am forever grateful for the graciousness of others and have learned so much from the gentle way they spoke to me to bring me back into the truth.
the gospel is Christ Himself. He draws us. He fills us. He teaches us HOW to obey. He delivers us. If His Spirit is truly in you, you wont stray very far because He wont let you and He will teach you from your mistakes. He does it by Himself and FOR Himself because HE is good. when we truly have faith, we trust The Lord with everything and our feet follow whats in our heart (His Spirit).
recently He had me reach out to a girl who is in this cult to share my experience. she rejected me immediately and blocked me. i was totally expecting this because i have been under the spirit that she is under and i know what these religious spirits are telling her about me. i remember what they told me. i know He will bring my words back to her remembrance. He is faithful to not lose even one.