I have not been born again very long. I came to Christ seven years ago. During the first four years, much of that time was spent learning to live as a normal person after two decades as a drug addict. Jesus was convicting me of a lot of outward sin and my life changed a lot during that time.
Three and a half years ago, everything changed when I prayed everyday for the truth… I wasnt expecting Jesus to show me the truth about myself… but thats what He did. He showed me the very core of my heart. He showed me who I was. He did so with no condemnation, although at the time I thought for sure it was condemnation i was feeling. It was the strongest conviction I’ve ever felt and it drew me to Jesus.
I have lived a life full of blatantly outward sin. Probably more so than most. Thug and drug and everything that comes with that lifestyle. I did everything to the extreme. If one was good, ten was better. Chief of sinners, that was me. Jesus didnt show me any of that when He showed me the truth about myself. He didnt show me things i had done, He showed me who i was in light of Him.
Just the truth. Thru His eyes. Jesus cuts straight to the heart. What He showed me about myself caused me to cry out to Him for forgiveness… seeing myself as I truly was. That’s when I became born again.
When a human heart meets Jesus, in that moment, they become One. When we see as He does and we can receive what He is showing us.
I think about that moment all the time. All of the mysteries of God are revealed in that moment… I am just understanding another one.
When I was born again, I had been married twice. My first marriage was so traumatizing for me, i cant even put it into words. It was devastating. My second was not much different.
When I read scriptures about the marriage bed being undefiled, I think “you have no idea what I have been through in a marriage bed”.
One flesh. I always think what IS that? What does that even mean? Sex? Maybe. Can two truly become one?
While earthly marriage has the potential to be a beautiful illustration of Christ and His Church, it is only a shadow. Everything takes me back to that moment I was born again, that moment where all of the mysteries of God are revealed within the human heart.
I was thinking back to when Jesus showed me who I was in light of Him. I wasn’t joined to my first husband. I wasn’t joined to my second husband. I wasn’t joined to any earthly person in Gods eyes in that moment.
I was one flesh with only Adam. One flesh. One heart. One spirit. One tree.
Bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. Truly, we were the same person. Adam was my one flesh husband.
These are the deep things of God.
When I died to Adam, I became married to Christ. A literal thing. A real moment. The undefiled marriage bed is the Spirit of God within His people.
Everything that God has made is a picture of spiritual things. His Order. His Ways.
Only in Christ we truly become one. One flesh (crucified with Christ), one spirit (risen in Him), and one heart as we truly seek to know Him.
Not just doctrine. Actual reality.
He actually lives His life in His people. We actually see as He does, feel what He feels, think His thoughts, and speak His words.
In Christ two actually become One.